Falling for Straight Girls

Dear reader,

Hello. It’s Ash again. And I’m here to talk about falling in love with straight girls. If you are a lesbian, or bisexual, or pan, or any non man loving other non men, chances are you’ve fell for a straight girl, and gotten your heart broken.

And me? I’m no different. I fell head over heels for a straight girl. She probably doesn’t even remember me. But I remember her, and I will for the rest of my life.

She was 1 and a half years older than me, and stunning, at least to me. She had a boyfriend, and was kind, and funny, and amazing. She would hug me sometimes, or brush her leg against mine, and I knew it was in that straight girl way. But it made me die inside.

Let’s also bring up the fact that girls can be so overly affectionate. Like, what’s that about? You’re straight, but you’ll hold my hand and tell me I’m pretty and say I’m the best ever? It makes zero sense! So please, straight girls, be clearer with your actions.

If you’re currently falling for a straight person, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not going to pretend it isn’t one of the hardest things I’ve experienced. I’m not going to say I didn’t cry myself to sleep all the time. Because I did. But I am going to tell you it’s not forever. You can move on. You will move on. And even if the next person you like, or even date, doesn’t feel the same, that’s normal.

When you fall for someone you can never have, there’s no pressure on labels in the same way there are when you’re dating. It’s easy to say you love someone you’ll never have. But when there’s someone in front of you, dating you, it feels so much bigger, and that’s normal. That’s okay. Falling for someone who won’t like you back feels giant. It feels all-consuming. It feels terrifying. When you’re with someone, and it’s fun, and easy, it’s going to feel less intense. And that’s okay. You don’t have to be thinking about someone every second of the day to date them. If you don’t like them, then that’s different. But if the like isn’t all consuming, that’s okay.

It’s easy to hang on to people. It’s easy to keep liking someone. But you have to be able to let go. It’s never going to be overnight. But try to find little things in other queer people that you like. Try to pursue other people. Don’t shut yourself off from possibilities. It’s okay to let go. And it’s okay to need time to be able to.

So yeah, that’s my blog on falling for straight girls. It’s tough. But it’s not the end of the universe. You can get through it. I believe in you.

#lesbian #pining #queer